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How to become a feminine alchemist….

Embodying the Sacredness of the feminine in our life

Long as I remember, I have always been fascinated by the word alchemist. It conveyed to me an aura of mysteries, even though I didn’t really understand the deeper meaning of its essence.

In high school, while studying the poètes maudits, specifically Baudelaire, I read “tu m’as donné ta boue, j’en ferais de l’or”, meaning “give me your mug and I will turn it into gold!”

For me there was a sacred key in this sentence and, as the years passed, I always remembered it in those times that I needed to descend into the mud, the dark, the shadow, and the unknown.

As an astrologer, I notice that some of my clients are afraid of the realms of scorpio, 8th house, or Pluto. There is a deep fear of this remote place of our own psyche, as if I will open the door to find death, obsessions, irrational fears, mental illness, inherited traumas, manipulation, power struggles, and more.

I think it is true that maybe this is the first gate or first stage in this initiation. When we start to descend we have to face everything, and most of the time it is because we are already in crisis that we need to descend even deeper into those scary places.

It requires strength but also, like Inanna who has to leave a set at each gate, we need to let go of beliefs, objects, attachments, and dependence. We cannot descend without being open to changing skin and to purifying the external and internal layers of our Self.

There is one key that I have always taken with me when descending through illness, mental conditions, and fears. And that is that I can transmute everything into gold and light. When I descend, there just might be a treasure.

I think this second gate is one of the most difficult and scary because we are asked not to stay in the underworld. Just like Persephone, who spent 6 months in the underworld and then 6 months reunited with her mother on earth celebrating spring.

Yes, it is very easy to stay trapped in the underworld by being a victim, by feeling powerless, by believing a story that prevents us from embracing our inner alchemist. We tend to stay in the mud, we eat mud, we breathe mud, we speak mud, whilst forgetting the light, the inner light.

So we start looking for the light outside of ourselves in healers, in therapies, in books, in courses, in a partner, or in a child. We desperately look for a mirror, and this is terrible because when the mirror tells you, like the queen of Snow White, that you are the most beautiful in the world, you believe it. But you also believe it when it tells you that you are the worst and ugliest person in the world.

Here we enter in the shadow and hell of scorpio dependence. We become prisoners of our subconscious, of our own shadow, and we are trapped because we have forgotten the light.

And sometimes we have to die, to let go of everything, so that something magical can happen. Because sometimes we really need someone to remind us that we are the light, that we are a feminine alchemist, and that the trap is being dependent on this external reflection.

In the myth of Inanna, she has her ally Ninshubur who comes to rescue her and she is able to rebirth and go back to the surface. In Mesopotamian Ninshubur is also “Papsukkal”. He is said to be the messenger of the god represented by a walking bird.

I feel there is a symbol here of this divine ally that comes to rescue the hero in most myths, reminding us that we are never alone, we just have to listen. There is always a messenger from the divine who stands on our side, ready to communicate through our dreams, intuitions, synchronicities, and oracle readings. They are always there to remind us of the light, and that we are inner alchemists able to transform the dark into gold.

Caroline xx

caroline moye

Antigua Guatemala